Sleeping Sickness

When I was younger, I was plagued with chronic nightmares about someone trying to break into our house and coming to hurt my family. This was in reaction to an scarily similar situation that had occurred late one night when I was in 2nd grade. My reaction to this was to stay up late into the night, listening for each creak in our house and worrying about what it could be.

Even after the nightmares ceased, the sleeplessness remained.

I was sleeping better when I went away to school but being home has screwed with the pattern. I've been switching sides in bed every few nights to see if anything changes but to no avail.

This isn't the point though. The point is that last night was particularly rough.
I wish I remembered more of my AP Psych dream studies because last night I found myself stuck in a level of consciousness that was somewhere awake and fully asleep. I was stuck in a dream and unable to to get out of the scene that was playing out.

This dream started as a memory of a night where I slept over my grandparent's house, woke up in the middle of the night, scared, and crawled into their bed crying. Then it moved to a typical morning in their house but I felt like a fly on the wall. I could hear my grandmother shuffling around in her slippers and robe and smell the maple syrup in the air and I could almost hear her voice but I couldn't remember it quite right.

I woke up with a pain in my entire body, physically distressed about my inability to feel well rested and even more distressed that I'm starting to forget the details that I promised myself I never would.

I just want to sleep through the night.